Abandoned Heart

     It’s amazing what a little surrendering does. Last week I decided to give my heart to God. Not just asking him to be my savior, but allowing him to hold my heart- to keep it safe and protected until a man worthy of holding it asks the Father for permission to do so.
     In doing this, I’ve struggled a lot. I’ve always been single and I've typically been okay with that fact (or at least I’ve convinced myself so). However, the past few days my heart has been aching more than ever. I’m not exactly sure why. I’ve tried to do the math, and I can’t exactly come up with an equation. Which maybe that’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s okay to not understand and just rely on God.
     All I know, is that through this I will grow. Through my commitment to abandon my heart to the Father, I have no control. I am forced to completely trust in Him. Hopefully these overwhelming feelings will fade. I want to be content in my Savior alone. I desire for completeness from Him.
     Father, help me to trust in you. Give me peace when I lack understanding. Give me patience as I wait on your perfect timing.

In the beginning, God.

     Last week I heard Aaron Stern (college pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs) speak at my church college service, ThreeD. It was a thought-provoking message, that has kept my mind spinning ever since. He spoke on Genesis 1:1, the basis of all things living. So often we read through this verse with a monotonous tone, yet it is such a powerful verse. I've read it many times over the past week and still get chills all over my body when I read it.
     Take a look at just the first few words: "In the beginning God..."
     Now stop and think about it.
     Before ANYTHING else, God. Before the heavens or the earth, God. Before you or me, God. Before our relationships, God. Before our jobs, God. Before our wants or needs, God. Before our problems, God. Before our lack, God. Before our solutions, God. Before our provision, God. "In the beginning God."
     If we make God first in all we do or encounter, He will take care of us. He always has and He always will.
     It also leads to the fact that not only is He is the first, but He is the last. Alpha and Omega. Beginning and End.

     Make God your beginning, and He will be your end.